5/27/08

Sportscasters: Did you really just ask that?

I am mostly a fair weather sports fan, except when it comes to NCAA Football. And I have recently been very opposed to female sportscasters in the industry of male sports. I would say, "What do they know, they've never played the sport!" "They shouldn't be doing this as much as a guy shouldn't be an OB/GYN." Neither has any business doing either. I still stand by that. But I am now more opposed to stupid sportscasters, especially the ones courtside, or down on the field. Honestly, I think they have their jobs because the broadcasting company owed the mob a favor. I mean, these people are D U M!

"Kobe, the youth of your team, their speed and agility, and their hustle, and the Spurs not being able to take the lead really stood out. How did you guys pull it off?" Seriously? No, seriously?!? Did you just ask that? Let's at least make it entertaining. "Kobe, what color are your blue and yellow jerseys?" Or "Kobe, you are the most valuable player in the league, so does that make you the MVP?"

No wonder adolescents in the US are dropping out of high school in droves. Look to whom they aspire. They see these professional athletes answering questions like "Tony Parker only scored 10 points tonight, when he's normally been averaging 35. Did that affect the outcome of the game?" And, "You couldn't pull it off in the end. Are you frustrated that you lost, and now have to go to LA, where they Lakers are undefeated in the post season, and you're down 3-1 in the series?" What if the SAT were written by these morons. "The perimeter of a square is 64 inches. How many inches are there around the square?" Or, "The sad, depressed, downtrodden, self-conscious, acne-ridden, voice cracking, uncomfortably pubescent boy didn't get asked to the dance. How did he feel?"

Seriously, folks. These courtside sportscasters are a waste of a press-pass and sporting event food. I want to see some real questions being asked. Just picture the face of Tracy McGrady's (arguably one of the dumbest looking athletes) when the sportscaster asks, "T-Mac, the angular acceleration of the projected orb was slightly altered by the vector pseudoforces created by the coriolis affect acting thereon, which in turn detoured the intended trajectory. Which specific forearm muscle could you have stimulated to most likely counter such an affect?"
...
...
Der, uh
...
...
"My bicep is pretty big, probably that one."
Right.
So my point is that sportscasters are dumb. Really dumb. That's all.

P.S. How incredibly hilarious is this really histerically funny post?

5/9/08

Please Explain

Will someone please help me understand why Hillary Clinton has been dubbed the "Working Class Heroine?" What about her life makes her a champion for the working class? Nothing about her campaign is about the working class!

For starters, she and her husband have claimed $109.2 MILLION in income over the past 6 years or so. I'll never ask an obese person for advice on how to diet, I'll never ask a socialist to teach me about free market capitalism, and I'll never ask someone who has made $109.2 million in their life to explicate the plight of the American working class. Does Hillary really know how hard it is to pay $40 a week for gas? Does she really now how hard it is to pay for health insurance? Does she know how ridiculously impossible it is to sign up for government welfare programs? Does she really know how sucky it is to have a college education, yet only make 24k a year?

Let me explain why I am wary of Hillary Clinton. One of her strongest base of voters is uneducated, white, unionized middle class workers. Wow! Let me tell you, if I could choose a substantial block of voters I don't want choosing the leader of our country, it would be the uneducated, union workers who think the gas tax holiday will really save them money. There isn't a group in America who does more disservice to the country than those who could have, but chose not to go to college, instead shortchanging the economy by forming and joining unions, and expecting "corporate America" to fund their bad decisions through increased taxes. She isn't the champion of the working class. She is the champion of the vulnerable, gullible, entitled-to-the-free-American-dream class.

And finally, how can someone who inserted 281 pork barrel projects, totaling nearly $300 million funded by federal tax dollars, honestly claim they care about the working class of America at large. Give me a break!

So if anyone out there can please show me where I'm wrong, I'll be happy to reconsider my opinions.