5/27/08

Sportscasters: Did you really just ask that?

I am mostly a fair weather sports fan, except when it comes to NCAA Football. And I have recently been very opposed to female sportscasters in the industry of male sports. I would say, "What do they know, they've never played the sport!" "They shouldn't be doing this as much as a guy shouldn't be an OB/GYN." Neither has any business doing either. I still stand by that. But I am now more opposed to stupid sportscasters, especially the ones courtside, or down on the field. Honestly, I think they have their jobs because the broadcasting company owed the mob a favor. I mean, these people are D U M!

"Kobe, the youth of your team, their speed and agility, and their hustle, and the Spurs not being able to take the lead really stood out. How did you guys pull it off?" Seriously? No, seriously?!? Did you just ask that? Let's at least make it entertaining. "Kobe, what color are your blue and yellow jerseys?" Or "Kobe, you are the most valuable player in the league, so does that make you the MVP?"

No wonder adolescents in the US are dropping out of high school in droves. Look to whom they aspire. They see these professional athletes answering questions like "Tony Parker only scored 10 points tonight, when he's normally been averaging 35. Did that affect the outcome of the game?" And, "You couldn't pull it off in the end. Are you frustrated that you lost, and now have to go to LA, where they Lakers are undefeated in the post season, and you're down 3-1 in the series?" What if the SAT were written by these morons. "The perimeter of a square is 64 inches. How many inches are there around the square?" Or, "The sad, depressed, downtrodden, self-conscious, acne-ridden, voice cracking, uncomfortably pubescent boy didn't get asked to the dance. How did he feel?"

Seriously, folks. These courtside sportscasters are a waste of a press-pass and sporting event food. I want to see some real questions being asked. Just picture the face of Tracy McGrady's (arguably one of the dumbest looking athletes) when the sportscaster asks, "T-Mac, the angular acceleration of the projected orb was slightly altered by the vector pseudoforces created by the coriolis affect acting thereon, which in turn detoured the intended trajectory. Which specific forearm muscle could you have stimulated to most likely counter such an affect?"
...
...
Der, uh
...
...
"My bicep is pretty big, probably that one."
Right.
So my point is that sportscasters are dumb. Really dumb. That's all.

P.S. How incredibly hilarious is this really histerically funny post?

4 comments:

lauren said...

you are SO right about sportscasters! it really makes me wonder why i went to the trouble of graduating college if all i had to do was get a really bad haircut and drool over pro athletes with poorly worded questions. i'd be making more money, that's for sure. however, i'm not sure that sacrificing my dignity and my intelligence is worth it.

Ashley said...

You are going to take a lot of heat from Lisa for bashing female sportscasters. And Cam for saying anything even remotely negative about sports of any kind. Stirring the pot babe, that's why I love you. And because you are unequivocally right.

Cameron Burr said...

So I never really read or write on any blog, but being the most knowledgeable about sports in our family I agree 200%. Women and sports don't hold a dear place in my heart, which is probably why I wrote a 15 page proposal to the NCAA office to change Title IX and its ridiculous rules. Congratulations University of Michigan, your football team raised over 100 million dollars, now we will spend all of that on women's field hockey. Women are for everything but sports.

Benjamin J Burr said...

So, Blogdor, it seems like every time you sit down and start pressing keys on your computer's keyboard that words appear on your blog that form sentences that end up being funny. Do you think that part of the reason that your blog is funny is because of this? And for follow up, do you think that following the same game plan will help your blog continue to be funny further down the road?

p.s. I renamed my blog "The Bloghorn." Since Olivia and I had a blogvorce, I am now free to keep my blog focused on issues that Blogdor might enjoy.